Hey *waves hand shyly*
Good 8 months, eh?!
Wow. I mean. Where do I start? I could just go on with life, start posting with no explanation as to why this has taken me so long. But we all know I’m here to share the good and the bad, so here is a slice of real life for you, in just a few words.
By ‘this’ I mean upkeeping my creative hobby, a habit, something that in a way suddenly became a chore. And I don’t say that lightly. A chore – and no, I didn’t just stop enjoy sharing my thoughts and life altogether, but as they say, life gets in the way (hey, did you notice this rhymed?!).
I say ‘life gets in the way’ to simply cover up my inability to maintain an overflowing plate for long enough (the magic of excuses…), until things are over, and new [lighter] chapters begin. So as a final year student, with an ambition to fulfill my goals of obtaining that desired grade, working 12 hour shifts to make my travel dreams come true and maintain my financial independence, I had to ‘prioritize’. Even writing this makes me somewhat uncomfortable.
How come ‘prioritization’ turned into dropping your hobbies and sacrificing your time for banknotes. Slowly closing the gap between you and the edge of never even coming back to what made you thrive and got your creative juices flowing?
I realise it was my choice. I did it consciously, and as much as I would like to act like I have it all figured out, with a set schedule that I always stick to… *chuckles* well… it ain’t me. I honestly REALLY struggle with anything that involves time management, which is confusing because I used to be quite good at it as a child/teenager. The girl who always took extra work home, handed in work first and never came in late? Don’t know her…
I have no problems in maintaining time management skills at work though… The financial incentive surely makes a difference haha! *truth*
I’m not proud of it, never will be, but at the same time I won’t beat myself up – especially as I try and try again. It’s only when I can’t handle the weight anymore that ‘I give up’ to maintain sanity. Apart from an occasional breakdown about something I have done (or haven’t done), I find it easy to treat myself with compassion, WHICH can also have its downsides. Mainly because I end up doing nothing and don’t feel that bad about it if it doesn’t involve a serious consequence.
But self compassion is a good thing. It’s quite crucial to our well-being, actually. SO if you ever see yourself going off your path, but know that you will be back, don’t overthink or end up resenting yourself. Just let it be, but take action when you decide it’s time.
Beyond the almost non-existent time management skills and an enormously high ranking on the ‘Procrastinators of the Year’ list, quite frankly, I still find writing challenging, and I experience writing blocks where my mind tricks me into thinking my art is not good enough or I simply can’t write a word. I learnt to come to terms with it and instead cherish the time off – all in all, that time acts as fuel reigniting my creative energy ♥.
Life has been a little of a whirlwind lately, with limited time to be spent alone, working on my grind. Uhmmm… hello excuse number three thousand… ANYWAY. I’ve expressed a lot of frustration regarding my current life limbo, but there’s also much good in it – I’m living in the present, taking day by day, not worrying about the future as I used to – SO much – even two years ago. I know I will make things happen one by one. I trust the universe and myself (more on life post-graduation coming soon!).
Post grad life means no more guidelines for life, so I’ve recently caved in and finally started sharing my path and passion for self-care, self-development and coaching over on my wellness Insta @karolife.inspiresjoy. If you’re a junkie for treating yourself and others the best you can, I’d love to see you there ♥
So ON THAT NOTE:
I’m ready to share and create the (Karo)life I whole-heartedly love and enjoy. Whether it’s through written or spoken word, I’m back (with a bang) to expose life post-graduation, the stages of moving on to adult-life including: travels and self-care (which I will make fun, don’t you worry lovie) and a few existential crisis in between.
See ya next week boo! ♥
Much luvzies to y’all♥